A WIFE WHO MEANS WELL
Having been married to the same woman for more than 50 years, I know that my wife means well. She is determined that I get completely over the stroke I had a couple of summers ago and she doesn't want to see any back-sliding in the process.
She's forever clipping little articles from newspapers and magazines about what people older than me are doing with their lives...or things like "l0 Tips For Getting Rid of Belly Fat". She leaves them next to the fattening meals she prepares for me.
The other morning there was a newspaper clipping about a 90 year old
widower who had flown across the English Channel standing up on the top wing of a bi-plane. Can you imagine? I couldn't. I assumed my wife was trying to encourage me to be more adventuresome so as soon as I
finished reading the article, I yelled into the kitchen: "Call the airport in
Hendersonville. Get me a bi-plane. I want to fly over Lake Sheila on the wings." She said: "What are you going to wear?" I told her I would probably fly naked if the pilot doesn't fly too low. She thought I should wear my pajamas.
"Are you going to use your walking stick?" she wanted to know. I told her that I wasn't walking anywhere...that once they got me up on the wing, I would just be standing there while the plane flew. I might take my cane for balance but I wanted to have at least one free hand so I could wave to my friends and neighbors.
Before she called the airport, she wanted me to know that she thought I as crazy. But she's the one that gave me the article about the man who flew over the English Channel. She tried to tell me that it was just
for my general interest and she didn't expect me to fly on the wings of a bi-plane. It gave me a perfect opportunity to say: "What about the
belly fat article? Was that for general interest?" She said "No...that
was a How-To article in case you decide to shed it."
I think I would have a better chance of flying across Lake Sheila standing on the wings of a bi-plane than losing my belly fat. I know they have a bi-plane in Hendersonville because I went to see the couple that have it one day. But I also know that I am much too fat
to stand on the wings of the thing...I'm sure I would go straight through
to say nothing of how I would get up there in the first place. But in case we can figure it out, keep your eyes to the sky as the crowd
yells, "It's a bird. It's a plane. No darn it, it's Joe Adams standing naked on the wings waving like crazy. Which he is.
