Do You Have a Shy Bladder?

Well, according to doctors who specialize in these things, 7 percent of adult males have Shy Bladder.  Basically it means you can't go wee-wee in public toilets

 

How do professional trained medicine men come up with this crap?  I'm sure if they cross checked their research, they would find that 7 percent of adult males have tiny penises.  That's why they have a Shy Bladder.  If they had one the size of a pork loin, they would have no trouble in poppimg it out at a urinal....maybe even outdoors. 

 

I would be embarrassed to be a doctor that specializes in Shy Bladder.  Can you imagine being at a cocktail party and when someone asks you, "And what do you specialize in, Doctor?"  Then you have to tell them "Shy Bladder".  And then everybody in the room laughs out loud as you explain how you have to take your patients by the hand into public toilets.  Come on!  Nobody would want to shake hands with you after that.

 

The medical profession seems to be overrun with strange maladies.  Think about it.  We read nowadays about Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  It's just a spastic colon which has been around forever but now they call it Irritable Bowel Syndrome to give it a modern name.  Your bowel is yelling, "I am pissed!  I mean it.  I am angry and I'm not going to let you go more than two feet from the toilet today."

 

I'm sure it's not funny if you have either one of these maladies....ooops, I've got to go.  My bowel is growling.  I hope there's no one in the toilet.  I'm shy.

 

 

Adopt Me, Sandra.

Sandra Bullock's got rid of her sleazy husband, Jessie James.  Now she has adopted a little 2 l/2 year old boy.  Sweet.  But I just wonder why these movie stars always adopt little kids.  Why can't they adopt an old guy like me?  If she adopted me and Betty White, we would keep her laughing all the time.  I wrote to her on her Facebook page.  It already had more than 2,000 messages.  All of them  were probably asking to be adopted.  I should be faster; get in line first.  She wants her new son to learn about every corner of New Orleans so I

gave her the name of a neat cafe called Seimolina's, a place that makes 50 different kinds of pasta....including cheeseburger pasta and a macaroni and cheese pie.  I miss going to New Orleans.  I used to know most of the "corners" as Sandra calls them.  I'm sure I could find them again if they are still there after the big flood.  They might be covererd in oil this time.