Why Goldfish Never Graduate From High School
It's not because they can't get a cap and gown to fit, although that could be a problem if they ever made it to high school.
The problem is much simpler. They are fairly dumb.
The goldfish are gorgeous. And they swim better than Esther Williams. But they are dumb as a stump. They only have a memory span of 30 seconds according to scientists. I have no idea how they know this but they claim that whatever you tell them goes in one ear and out the other. If they have ears. That might be the problem since I've never seen fish ears.
Goldfish rarely get beyond first grade. They can't hold a pencil, poor things. Even if they knew the answer, they couldn't write or tell the teacher.
"Hold up your fingers," she would yell. "Blow four bubbles."
There are other problems other than the pencils. They can't tie their shoes. No wonder. No feet. And getting on the schoolbus is a major feat.
And once they are on the bus, they tend to slide from one end to the other. If their mothers were thoughtful enough to put them in a sealed baggie with water, some of the bullyboys start playing toss with the fish.
I sympathize with the goldfish. I really do. They're not going to get a good job unless they graduate from high school. I am retired so I don't have to worry about getting a good job. I worry that I am turning into a goldfish. I can't remember anything I'm told more than 30 seconds ago. Sometimes not
then. Of course, maybe I just don't care. Maybe the goldfish don't either.
