Oh, Mother! What's Your Kid Doing on the Computer?
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that YOUR kid is doing anything strange on the computer. But hundreds of kids are. Probably millions.
The computer games are bad enough. But they should probably be the least of your worries.
You've no doubt heard of MY SPACE; you might even have a page of your own. Seems like everybody does. It's one of the new and very
successful "friends" sites. You put a picture of yourself and a brief profile, then people all over the world can write to you and offer to be your friend.
Alyss wants to be my friend. I can't imagine why since I posted a picture of Millard Fillmore on my site. Of course maybe she likes the
way he looks. I listed my age as 99. Maybe Alyss is thinking, "It worked for Nicole Smith. She found a multi-millionaire husband who
was 89 years old. And found him just in time." I don't think she met him on MY SPACE. I think it was in a pole dancing place.
People put pictures on their sites because they can easily now with their cell phones. And, who knows? They might be taking pictures of a checkout woman at the grocery store. Friends are always asking for "unusual pictures" and there's where the trouble begins. I can't imagine there's anything unusual left to show anymore. Not that I personally look. People have told me about the pictures (he says,
lying through his teeth). I am really nervous about looking at pictures on the internet. I'm afraid I will see one or more of my loved ones.
I wouldn't believe anything I read or saw on these sites. People fib
about their age. They fib about their jobs. They post fake pictures.
(I am not the only Millard Fillmore on MY SPACE...there are at least
eleven of us. Will the real Millard Fillmore please stand up?)
You are encouraged to chat with your "friends". I put that word in quotes because I doubt that they are really friends. They won't come to your funeral or lend you a few bucks when you are short of cash.
And I don't like the word chat. I wouldn't talk to anybody who came up to me and said, "Let's chat." (A friend and I used to go to a greasy spoon cafe in Maryland called CHAT AND CHEW. He loved the name. There's a place near me in S.C. that's called SQUAT AND GOBBLE. You don't have to chat there unless you really want to.
You just squat and eat.)
The thing about chatting is that notices come through the computer while you are working on line that say: "Marie wants to chat." I'M WORKING! And Maria knows I'm busy so why does she think I want to be interrupted to chat.
The thing that really gets me is that the people on MY SPACE sound so perfect. They are all beautiful. They all have a great sense
of humor. They all love to cuddle. They all cry at sad movies. If they are so ideal, why don't they have friends in their neighborhood? Makes you wonder.
I have a friend who writes to women all over the world. I keep telling him that anyone west of the Mississippi and across the Atlantic Ocean should be considered geographically undesirables. But he
persists and he has a dozen Russian women begging him to send them money so they can come to America. Scary.
He doesn't send them any money. He doesn't have any. But he has travelled many, many miles to meet women. And at today's
gasoline prices, you need to have honest people before you go driving off to Ohio. He doesn't like chubby women (and that's a shortcoming
on his part)...but the woman from Ohio who sent him a picture and invited him to come visit was surely going to be overweight. Her picture was a real close-up of her face...she looked thin. How many
times have you heard, "She has such a pretty face" meaning the rest of her is B-I-G. He wouldn't listen to me...drove up to see her and was surprised that she was B-I-G. He said, "But she was a great cook."
Sure, and so is Denny.
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