"Are you Oral Roberts?" She Asked.

I used to go visit my mother-in-law in the nursing home...I'd go and give her a whirl in her wheelchair around the place...or take her for a drive in the country. We would sing songs as we drove along since nobody could hear us. Once when I had her out and took her back to park her in the main room, I put her near the big TV set. There was an old woman there with her hand raised in the air repeatedly saying, "Help me. Help me." Poor thing. I took her hand and said, "Do you want me to help you?" She said, "Yes. Are you Oral Roberts." I thought for a moment and then said, "Yes. How did you recognize me?" She said she had seen me on TV. She was in a wheelchair and her foot was crooked. I had read a book about "faith healing"...the laying on of the hands. So I was looking for a chance to try my new skills. I asked her what seemed to be the matter. She pointed toward her legs and said, "My foot." I got down on my knees between her legs and I lightly touched her foot. She SCREAMED. I was so sure the nurse would come and find me down on my knees with my head between the old lady's legs. But fortunately, the nurse was snoozing as usual. I said to the woman, "Did I hurt you?" She said no. I asked her if she really believed because that's one of the essentials of faith healing...you've got to believe that you can cure them; they have to believe that you can. It takes two to faith heal as well as to tango. She said she believed. So I said, "Well, let me try again. I'll put my hands on your legs and I'm sure you will be able to walk again." She said, "I don't want to walk again. My foot has gone to sleep and I just want you to wake it up." I jumped up and yelled, "My God, woman! You think Oral Roberts goes around waking up old feet??" I'm a Faith Healer. I can make you walk again! "Please," she begged, "Just wake my foot up." I yelled, "Yee of little faith. Wake your own damn foot up. I'm out of here."