Not So Damn Fast!

I was on the road and stopped at a rest stop. As I walked in, I noticed a sign that said, "Automatic Toilets". It made me nervous to tell you the truth. I imagined some machine yanking down my pants and pushing me down on the toilet seat without even wiping it. So I asked the attendant what the deal was. He said that when you wash your hands, you just put your hands under the faucet and the water comes out automatically. And if you have to go into one of the stalls...when you get up to leave, an electronic eye in the wall knows you have left and it flushes the toilet automatically. I asked him, "You sure there's not somebody in the wall watching me?" He swore it was an electronic eye. With his assurance, I went ahead into the toilet to do my business. I leaned forward slightly to get some toilet paper and the damned toilet flushed violently...it was like a bidet (or what I imagine a bidet would be like!). I yelled, "Wait a damn minute. I'm not finished here." But the eye was quick on the trigger. I know there was somebody in the wall. I heard someone laughing.