what's In Your Medicine Cabinet?

You better check it out because if you don't, one of your visitors will.  Everybody wants to look in other people's medicine cabinets.  And most people do. Admit it!  If you haven't looked in another

person's medicine cabinet, you've certainly wanted to as you stand there washing your hands and wondering what's behind the mirror.

 

It's called CURIOSITY.  The same thing that has killed all those cats.

 

I look. I don't mind saying it.

 

But I look very carefully. A friend of mine puts about 200 loose marbles in her medicine cabinet.

So if you take a peek without knowing what's inside, hundreds of marbles come bouncing out

and hitting the sink and her tile floor.  And she's usually outside the door laughing and asking,

"What's going on in there Nosey?"  She makes you pick them up.  I know because I've opened

the cabinet door before.  More than once.  I have a short memory.

 

Another friend of mine has a big sign inside that says: WHAT HE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

 

Another one has a big assortment of Adult Store "toys" just to get the neighbors talking.

 

My medicine cabinet is dull by comparison.  And  I don't care if people look in it.  It's filled with

dozens of half-used prescriptions....all of them are way out of date and I don't know what most

of them were for anyway.  Half the doctors who prescribed them are dead now.  I've got enough

prescription medicine to start my own drug store.  If I could only remember what they were for.

Must have worked however because I'm still alive.

 

I have a lot of stuff in little bottles with droppers.  But I don't know where you drop the stuff or

why.  There are two partially used bottles of Caldarom.  I think it's an herb of some kind.  A

naturepath doctor in the mountains sold it to me to cure a hand disease that had baffled four doctors who had prescribed various expensive hand creams.  The naturepath guy made me quit taking vitamins and other stuff...then I took the Caldarom drops in water. And like a miracle, my hands  were clear again.  (Sadly he got arrested soon after for murder...he was treating a young girl and had her quit taking her regular medications. She died and he went to the clinker.)

 

I have a bunch of grey whiskers on the top shelf.  A stack of them.  II was saving them for an art project but have  forgotten exactly what the art project entailed. But it will come to me one day...and I hope I can

remember where the whiskers are stored.

 

On that shelf I also have a tube of DARKIE TOOTHPASTE...it's suppose to whiten and brighten

your teeth. But I think you have to paint your face black like Al Jolson to make it really look

effective.  The guy on the tube of toothpaste looks like Al and it always makes me break out in

song.  Usually "Mammy".

 

That's pretty much it for the medicine cabinet itself.  But we have about l0 drawers.  My wife

keeps  her assigned drawers sort of neat.  She knows what's in each one.   I just sort of open

a drawer and throw whatever I have into it.  I have an unbelievable collection of crap in the drawers.

 

One drawer has seven razor blades.  All used.  I am taking a blood thinner medicine now and the doctor advises against using a razor to shave.  So I have grown a beard. I could throw the old razors away, but I don't really need the space.

 

I've got quite a collection of motel soaps, shampoos and lotions.  I figure you pay for all the

stuff they put out, so I take it with me.  I don't think I've ever used any of it. For one thing, you

can't get the wrapper off the soaps.  I can't imagine how they seal them so tight.  And if you

do get one open, the pungent odor breaks out into the room and your bathroom then smells

like a cheap motel for eternity.

 

I have eyewash, mouthwash and three partially used cans of shaving foam...a Dry Look hair spray(but I don't have any hair so it would make my head dry looking...I must have had this left over

from when I did have hair...and nobody can remember that far back).  I have Herbal Ed's salve

but I'm not sure where to apply it. I have a pencil sharpener and a pencil with white lead...you

use it to put the white under the tips of your fingernails when you want them to look neat.  Then

I have about four different fingernail clippers in various sizes.  Yet I can never find a single pair when I want to clip my nails.  I have some dog shampoo...although we haven't had a dog in years.  I guess I could really get rid of that but who knows when a dirty stray dog may wander

by and need a shampoo.  I want to be ready to clean him up.