Sleep Your Fat Away

It seems as if I have always been searching for ways to lose weight. Especially ways that allowed me to do it easily while I continued to eat, eat, eat. When I was about 15-years-old, I saw an ad that said, SLEEP YOUR FAT AWAY: Lose Weight While You Sleep. Now that's what I call a miracle way to lose weight. I sent away for this "suit" that your wore at night. When it came, it looked a lot like a shower curtain. It was a bright pink plastic thing, sort of like pajamas. You zipped yourself into it before you went to bed. The whole idea of this invention was the fact that the body is mainly water...so you would sweat your fat away. It sure made you sweat. I woke up the first morning and thought I had wet the bed. The suit was stuck to me from all the sweat. I thought, "Damn, this is working. I will be thin in no time." I worried that I would have a thin body but a fat head, fat hands and fat feet. But I didn't worry enough that I stopped putting the plastic suit on every night. After a few days I noticed that my body was as bright pink as the shower-curtain pajamas. I had a heat rash all over my body where the pj's went. I had to shower after gym class and I caused quit a stir. They re-named me "Pinkie". I probably would have kept using the sleep-your-fat-away pj's even with the rash. But fortunately, they ripped. And I still feel ripped for paying $14.95. Maybe I can find them at a good price on eBay.